As I laid staring up into darkness, my head was like a rowing boat caught in a storm. All sorts of worries swirled back and forth, each an open loop begging to be closed. My body sunk into the bed, my eyes caved in, but my head was on full blast, stuck in a storm.
I’m sure you’ve had this experience before. And whatever it was that kept you awake, I bet it was something you cared about.
Maybe you felt guilty for upsetting someone. Maybe you were worried about messing up an important presentation. Maybe you were overwhelmed and felt out of control.
When we wake up at night, our minds are telling us there is something important we need to take care of. It’s so important, it overpowers our need for sleep.
We enter a state of internal conflict. We want sleep, but we can’t sleep.
This internal conflict arises because our mind and our body are out of sync.
Our body seeks pleasure, and wants to avoid pain. It lives in the now. It’s our body that wants sleep. That sinking feeling, our eyes caving in, our breathing slowing down. Just a few hours more sleep. It would feel so good.
Our mind seeks hope, and avoids our fears. It lives in the future. It’s our mind that keeps us awake. How can we make things up for that person we upset? How can we make sure we don’t mess up that presentation? How can we get back on top of our work?
When our mind and body are in sync, we are capable of amazing things.
Right now, my mind wants to be healthy. Over the last few years, I have seen close family members suffer from ageing. The brain goes, aches become pains, they can’t do what they used to do. I am very afraid of these things happening to me. At the same time, I have two young children. I want to be that father that plays football with them, that throws them up in the air as we smile and giggle at each other, and that chases them around, catches them and tickles them on the floor.
And my body enjoys being healthy. Junk food makes me sluggish, whereas healthy food leaves me buzzing, ready for action. Yoga massages those achey muscles, and lets the blood flow to the those places that were cold and stiff. Strength training gives life to my muscles, and skipping rope pumps me into awareness.
The mind needs a clear vision of what it wants and doesn’t want. And the body needs more pleasure than pain.
But the body feels the now. Every ache or pain, every craving, every tiny bit of pleasure, are what drives our body.
The pleasure I feel from exercising, has taken me years to discover. I have tried so many different types of exercises, so many of which gave me more pain than pleasure. Exercise has been an acquired taste for me.
The mind projects into the future, based on what its learnt from the past. It analyses possibilities, evaluates outcomes and just like a GPS device, it sets a destination for us.
Whilst the mind can see into the future, it is our body that must carry us there.
Motivating the Mind
The mind can only understand what the senses have experienced. This is a core principle of this book, and is equally important here. The mind needs a crystal clear vision of a future that’s better than the present.
This is what advertisements strive to do; paint a picture of that better future.
It could be a car safety ad where we see careless drivers crash, contorted bodies flying, and lifeless, bloodied faces of innocent children staring at us. It’s enough to tell us that a future of careful driving is better than the dangerous present carefree driving.
Or a charity advert, reminding us how fortunate we are. Whilst we enjoy our normal lives, children live through war, entire families can’t eat, and the climate will kill our children. It’s enough to tell us that we would be much better people, if only we cared more.
Or a sports brand, showing children and people just like us, setting out on a journey of sweat and hard work. They show us how those people became sports legends like us, or how disabled people beat non-disabled athletes, or how those struggling in their lowest moments stood up and put their shoes on. It’s enough to tell us, we can do that too, and we should.
We’ve already established that to speak to the mind, we need to show it through experiences, demonstrations, examples and vivid language, or by using metaphors and analogies. But when doing so, what exactly should we be showing if we want the mind to care?
There are 3 levels of content that we can use to make the mind care:
- Innate Fears and Desires
- Values
- Beliefs
Innate Fears and Desires
At the very core, are innate fears and desires that have been genetically programmed into us for our survival. To understand this, look at what scares and excites little children. My 2 year old son is scared of the dark, loud noises and bright flashing lights. He loves sweet foods, bright colours and symmetrical shapes.
If you look at the general population, you’ll find most people share a lot of the same fears and desires. Fears of snakes, spiders, and heights. A lot of people hate extremes of heat and cold, bitter tastes, or the smell of human excrement or vomit. Sweet foods are addictive, sex sells, and a soft bed is nicer than the stone cold floor.
Of course, there are exceptions. Some people love snakes and spiders, there are some who are sexually aroused by the sight of human excrement or vomit, or those who dislike sweet foods. But these tend to be the exception rather than the rule. And in many cases, these preferences have probably been acquired through experiences that have rewired the brain.
But if you consider the environments in which our ancestors grew up in, it makes a lot of sense that our genes would carry innate fears and desires. A forest that suddenly turns silent. A dark cave. The hissing of a snake. Then there’s the sweet taste of an apple. A clearing in the forest where we can see everything. The rhythmic nature of tribal music that brings us together as we dance to it.
The car safety adverts appeal to our innate fears and desires. We all want to avoid danger, and stay safe.
Values
One layer above this is are our values.
We are a tribal species. We grew up in tribes. Tribes allowed us to cooperate and share resources, which allowed us to do incredible things. We could work together to chase Wooly Mammoths off cliffs, or farm the land.
But to cooperate in a tribe, we must share a set of values. These are the things we believe are good or bad.
Is caution good or bad?
If we live in a cold climate, with wolves and scarce food supplies, we need to be incredibly cautious to survive. We need to always protect ourselves from the wolves. We need to find warm shelter at night. We need to be careful not to exhaust ourselves whilst hunting, to ensure we have enough energy to survive.
If we live on land with a plentiful supply of fruits, vegetables and meat, then there is probably no need to be cautious. What would be the point? Instead, we should enjoy life. We should share stories and tell jokes. We should enjoy sexual intercourse with multiple partners. We should drink lots and be merry. But we shouldn’t fight. Plentiful resources can create greed and jealousy. We should ensure everyone gets their fair share, otherwise the biggest threat to our survival would be ourselves.
Going against your tribes values is a dangerous thing.
For example, a Manchester United fan, whether they know it or not, is part of a tribe. They belong to the Manchester United fan tribe. They value loyalty. Every weekend they go to the games to show their loyalty. The more games they go to, and the longer they’ve been doing this for, the more loyal they are.
But if one day they were to turn up wearing a Liverpool shirt, they would immediately be ostracised. They have gone against the core value; loyalty. Furthermore, they have shown loyalty to a rival tribe. At the very least, they would no longer be welcome to games.
Going against tribal values is an extremely dangerous thing for anyone who is part of a tribe, and even worse for those who are dependant on tribes. At the very least, it results in ostracising. In the early days of our species, this would most likely have meant an inevitable death, as they would be forced to roam less favourable lands, and gradually starve, or die from exposure to predators or nature itself.
In order to survive, we had to abide by our tribe’s values. And the more we showed that we prioritised our tribes values over our own individual needs, the higher we would rise in status.
When I was at university, I was part of a tribe of “Trickers”. Tricking was a combination of gymnastics, martial arts, free running, breakdancing and acrobatics. I was terrible at it, yet I thoroughly enjoyed doing no handed cartwheels on the plyometric floor, or diving over blocks into the foam pit, or doing backflips on a trampoline.
The tricker tribe valued determination. We would all show up and help each other learn new tricks. I was good at doing floaty butterfly kicks (basically a horizontal no handed cartwheel, that is actually very easy), others were good at flashy kicks, others flips. We all worked incredibly hard to master different tricks. Everyone was at a different level, so we only celebrated what we knew was a big accomplishment for individuals.
When my friend Jay had mastered a combination of a flashy kick, no handed cartwheel, flip and then twist, we celebrated. We knew how hard he had worked to land that combo. When Sam did a diving flip off the second floor balcony, and landed with a roll, we celebrated, because we knew how hard he had worked to build up the skill and guts to do that. And when I landed my very first backflip, something so simple, everyone celebrated, because they knew how many mental blocks I had to overcome to achieve that.
It’s been a long time since I last did tricking. I can’t do backflips today. Sam went on to be a stuntman in the Harry Potter movies. Sam got more entrenched in that tribe, and I gradually left it. Our paths in life diverged, because that was the tribe for Sam, a place where he would find purpose, connection and celebration. And for me, I lacked the talent, and had too many mental barriers to overcome, and had to seek those things elsewhere.
And so to appeal to the values level, we need to show people a vision of them being a hero of the values of a tribe they want to be a part of.
This is what those charity adverts seek to resonate with. You want to be a good person right? You want to be part of a caring, compassionate society? How much do you really value compassion?
Beliefs
And the final layer is beliefs. These are the conclusions we’ve come to, based on our life experiences, which are quite frequently founded on the values of our tribes.
You are 14 years old, and suddenly realise you are a homosexual. Whilst your peers share graphic, sexual gossip about members of the opposite sex, you realised you were more interested in your own gender. You’ve finally noticed all those signals your body has been giving you over the last few years.
But there is a big challenge.
Your family is extremely religious. Homosexuality is not tolerated. Every so often at the dinner table, you hear your mother make jokes about how disgusting homosexuals are. When relatives are over, your father, who you love so dearly, talks about how homosexuals should be wiped out because they might infect everyone with AIDS. Everyone nods heads in agreement, including, reluctantly, you.
You know what your body wants.
But your mind is so taken by your family’s beliefs.
This is the family you’ve grown up with. The family that has loved you dearly and taught you EVERYTHING you know. Plus, you’re 14 years old. You need them. It’s not as if you could walk out and start a life on your own. At least not for a few years.
Our beliefs can overpower our body’s desires. They are so strongly attached to our social network, and founded upon our life experiences, and sometimes what we depend upon for survival. In some cases, they are literally everything we know.
In the example above, I don’t think my own life experiences would enable me to relate to what a person in that situation must be going through. It must be incredibly painful. A person in this situation would need a hopeful vision of a future that brings freedom and acceptance. It must be a pretty compelling vision if it would be enough to allow them to overcome the pain of the now.
Beliefs are a tricky business. Whilst it can be clear that some people’s beliefs do not align with reality (e.g. “Homosexuality is unnatural”), proof is not enough to convince them. We can’t always just suddenly detach someone from their beliefs. In some instances, people can require years of therapy to work through their beliefs. They may even need to restructure their social network in order to adjust their beliefs.
So if we are to paint a compelling vision for their mind at the beliefs level, we need to work much closer to their current beliefs.
For example believing “Homosexuality is natural” may be 5 steps away from where they currently are. That’s a bit too much of a leap from “Homosexuality is sin”. At most we want to work one step away from their current beliefs. Perhaps a better starting point would be “It’s wrong to judge someone based on one trait”.
Much like the political canvassers did when discussing transgender rights with staunch conservatives in the previous section, we could paint a picture of themselves being judged negatively because of one trait. This picture could be something they’ve experienced themselves, or could very easily imagine themselves experiencing. Maybe it’s a picture of them with a stutter and everyone laughing at them. Maybe it’s a picture of their friends ignoring them after they suddenly got laid off. Maybe it’s a picture of them being forced onto a train carriage and sent to a concentration camp just because of their religion, just like their grandparents.
Whatever the picture it is, it must not be further than a step away from their current beliefs.
Another approach is to redefine their existing beliefs.
This is something Nike did in their series of Find Your Greatness adds (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcbSCnUXOkk). For many people, the definition of greatness is huge and unobtainable. So Nike redefines it for us.
We start with an empty road in the wilderness. All we hear are the sounds of insects chirping away. Slowly, we see an overweight adolescent jogging their way towards us.
“Greatness. It’s just something we made up” the narrator says.
“Somehow we’ve come to believe that greatness is a gift, reserved for a chosen few. For prodigies, for superstars. And the rest of us can only stand by watching. You can forget that.”
The jogger is closer now. He’s calm, and focused, and keeps moving at his own pace.
“Greatness is not some rare DNA strand. It’s not some precious thing. Greatness is no more unique to us than breathing. We’re all capable of it. All of us.”
It finishes with the words “Find Your Greatness” flashing on the screen.What he is doing is far closer to our everyday normal life than all those superstars. This is greatness we are capable of achieving.
What a brilliant advert. This overweight adolescent is showing us greatness in action. Our definition of greatness is redefined to something much more reachable, much more achievable. And this brings me to pleasure.
Motivating the Body
Whilst we may be able to paint a clear vision to motivate the mind, at the end of the day, it is the body that has to take the mind there.
The body is driven by avoiding pain, and seeking pleasure. It’s pretty simple. If something hurts more than it feels good, our body does not want to do it. If something is more pleasurable than painful, then our body wants to do it.
The adverts above have painted clear visions to motivate the mind. But it is still the body that has to act.
In the first example, our mind is given a vision of driving carefully. But maybe that involves ignoring our smart phone, not chatting to our friends, and not showing off to the pretty girls we drive past, all things that give us little boosts of pleasure.
In the second example, our mind is given a vision of being a good community role model by donating to charity. But that involves spending money, something that is painful.
And in the third example, sports brands inspire you to stand the fuck up, put your shoes on and sweat. But of course, that is a lot more painful than just laying down, watching TV and eating pizza.
If we want people to act, we need to rebalance the pleasure to pain ratio. There are several ways of doing this.
Ask for Less
The more we ask of people, the more painful it is. So a simple thing to do is ask for less.
Want people to donate to charity? Ask for less. Don’t ask for £100. Ask for £1. Don’t ask to donate each month. Ask for just one donation. In fact, don’t ask them for a donation, just ask them to share this advert on their social media. Just ask them to Like It.
Want people to exercise more? Again, ask for less. Don’t ask for them to join a gym. Don’t ask for them to run a marathon. Don’t ask for them to lift weights. Ask them to put their shoes on. Ask them to stand up. Ask them to take one step.
Remove Friction
The more steps to completion, the more barriers to success. So we need to remove those barriers.
Want people to drive more carefully? One barrier is interpreting what driving more carefully actually means. That requires thinking, and thinking requires effort. So show them what driving more carefully means. Show them the procedure for stopping at traffic lights. Show them how you’re supposed to go around a roundabout. Show them how people keep within the speed limit.
Want people to donate to charity? Wait, how do I donate to charity again? I need to log on to a website? With my bank card? My computer is upstairs, and my bank card is in my wallet, which is downstairs. Why not just text a number to automatically donate? My phone’s in my pocket. Pick it up, text “DONATE” to a 5 digit number.
Set Achievable Goals
Achievement feels great. It is pleasure.
That feeling of completing a tough workout. Or finishing a video game. Or a post going viral. You did something. You DID something!
Achievement tell us we can do more. That buzz we feel is the manifestation of our confidence going up a level.
If you’re a sports brand, set the 1km challenge. If you’ve never run before, go out and run 1km. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. Just run 1km. Then share it with us. Be a 1k Champ.
Make it Fun
With a bit of creativity, the most mundane of tasks can become fun.
One of my favourite examples of this is the piano staircase (https://youtu.be/SByymar3bds). A group of designers in Sweden asked “How can we get more people to take the stairs instead of the escalator?”. The answer?
Turn the stairs into a piano. Each step is a key on a piano. As people walked up the stairs they had so much fun treading new tunes. At the end of the day, 66% more people than normal chose the stairs over the escalator.
Is driving safely boring? How about fashion seatbelts designed by your favourite brands? How about speed cameras that play funny tunes each time someone abides by the speed limit? How about a seatbelt championship on social media? Whoever posts the most pictures of themselves wearing a seatbelt is the champion.
Is running boring and painful? Run with friends. Join a park run. Join a fun run! There are so many things you can do to make running more fun.
Redefine the Pain
Pain doesn’t have to just be pain. It can also be a symbol.
That sweat dripping down your forehead? That’s the sign of hard work. You’re a hard worker.
That burn in your muscles? That’s your muscles growing.
That money disappearing from your bank account? That’s your sacrifice, your contribution to the community.
That frustration from driving safely? That’s what it’s like to be a responsible adult. It’s so much better than the feeling of being sentenced for manslaughter.
Aligning the Mind and Body
One of the most powerful applications of the Show principle of storytelling is to align the audience’s mind and body. When you paint a clear and compelling vision for their mind, and show them how to make it more pleasurable, you can drive them to action.
Remember, all you have to do is:
Motivate the Mind by:
- Appealing to their Innate Fears and Desires
- Showing them how to be a Hero of their tribe’s values
- Relating to their current beliefs
And Motivate the Body by:
- Asking for less
- Removing friction
- Setting achievable goals
- Making it fun
- Redefining the pain
