Everyone is different.
One way in which everyone is different is what they agree with.
Some agree that abortion is a good thing, some don’t. Some agree with the theory of evolution, some don’t. Some agree that the Earth is round, some don’t.
Sometimes when we communicate, we are trying to change people’s minds. Maybe we are trying to persuade them to do what we want them to do, maybe we are trying to introduce new ideas to them, or maybe we are trying to get them to view things differently. But whenever we want to change people’s minds, we need to understand that not everyone agrees with our ideas to start with, and that some people are a lot further from accepting change than others.
Living beings are not designed to exert energy in ways in which they deem unnecessary.
If someone believes the Earth is flat and not round, then changing their mind is not as simple as showing them pictures of the Earth from space. Their beliefs are like a block in a Jenga tower. If you remove one block, that removes the foundation for the blocks on top of it, and the tower might collapse.
A Flat Earth believer has a lot of other beliefs piled up on top of that belief. The belief that photos from space are fake, the moon landings were a conspiracy, that certain scientific theories are wrong. On top of this, they have the belief that they were right all those times they debated scientists on Facebook. That the people who called them idiots were actually idiots. They have their social network of people who share similar beliefs, who they attend gatherings with, who form the very social fabric of their life. They have a hell of a lot depending on that single belief.
There is so much that people can stand to lose from changing their beliefs. For some, they would have to completely rebuild their minds from scratch, along with their social network and entire life. That is a hell of a lot of energy. And that is why it is sometimes extremely hard to change people’s minds.
But even among the Flat Earth community, you are likely to find differing levels of agreement.
There are those who believe there is proof the Earth is flat.
There are those who believe scientists and authorities are trying to exploit us and hide the truth, and the Flat Earth theory makes sense because of this.
There are those who believe that if all these people on YouTube believe in this theory, then it’s something worth exploring.
Then there are those who are just interested in hearing different views, and that’s what’s attracted them to the Flat Earth theory.
Think of this scale as having 4 different positions:
– Completely agree
– More agree than disagree
– More disagree than agree
– Completely disagree
When we want to change people’s minds, realistically we’re probably only going to be able to move them one position up or down the scale from where they are right now.
But it also means we need to be extremely careful about how we approach them.
Agreement Means Get Close
A physicist preaching science to Flat Earth devotees is set up for failure.
They are a scientist and so completely distrusted by a community who believes that scientists are out to exploit them and hide the truth. Any attempt to dismiss the Flat Earth theory is going to be flat out rejected.
The scientist would be much better off investing their energy in the people who are attracted to the Flat Earth theory because they’re just interested in hearing different views. These people are much closer to the scientist’s way of thinking.
The scientist should then start saying things these people will agree with. Things like:
– “Science can be pretty hard to understand at times!”
– “It’s normal to be curious.”
– “It’s hard to believe something that doesn’t make sense to us.”
The goal when starting to change people’s minds, either by helping them understand something or by persuading them, is to make them nod their heads. When they’re nodding their heads, you can be sure you’re close to them.
It’s easier for someone to follow us when we’re close to them. We’re less of a threat to their mental architecture. It takes less energy to understand us. We’re in the territory that they have maps for.
But just because we agree with them, doesn’t mean they’ll change positions. There’s a bit more that we have to do.
People Need Reasons to Move Position
As I’ve mentioned several times in this book, all organisms are driven by the Pleasure/Pain Principle. We approach things that give us pleasure, and avoid things that give us pain.
Changing position naturally involves some pain, because it takes energy to move and adapt our mental architecture.
So why should people move? Well, there are two reasons.
Either because they’ll get more pleasure by moving.
Or because they’ll experience more pain by not moving.
A scientist talking to the people who are attracted to the Flat Earth theory because they’re just interested in hearing different views needs to give them a reason to move to where the scientist wants them to go. The scientist needs to paint a vision of a future that is more painful when staying in the same position, and more pleasurable when moving to their position.
So the scientist could say things like:
– “It’s easy for dangerous people, and dangerous ideas, to exploit us, when we don’t even just consider evidence that might prove them wrong”
– “As normal as it is to be curious, curiosity without caution can lead us to dangerous places.”
– “When we start to understand things that previously didn’t make sense to us, this makes us smarter”
Would the above sentences work or not? The only way to find out is to try! But the closer the person is to agreeing with these statements to start with, the more effective these statements will be. And regardless of their effectiveness, the only way someone will change their position is when they believe there’s a good reason to.
Let’s take another example.
In the early days of colonial America, certain people left the Old World to colonise the New World. There is a theory that people who were attracted by new possibilities were in the majority of those departing to the New World, whereas those who favoured stability, security and predictability were in the majority of those remaining in the Old World. This may explain some of the cultural differences we see between America and the United Kingdom. Americans, generally speaking, seem more outgoing, adventurous and optimistic. Britons, generally speaking, seem more reserved, conservative, and steady paced.
If you believed there was only risk and danger involved in travelling across the ocean to the New World, then you would have seen no reason to go. But if you believed the poverty and desperation of the Old World was too much to bear for much longer, and the possibilities of the New World were too good an opportunity to miss, then you’d see no reason not to go!
People only change positions when they see a good reason to.
Changing People’s Minds
If you want to change a mind, you have to do so in two steps:
1. Agreement – Go to where they’re already at and make them nod their heads
2. Give Reasons to Move – Show them that there is more pain in staying put, or more pleasure in changing
References:
Myers, Isabel Briggs; Myers, Peter B.. Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type . Quercus. Kindle Edition.
